The Bittersweet Season: A Parent’s Journey
Words of genuine wisdom from our (very wise) Life Coach in Residence, Julie Traina
There’s something about senior year that feels different from the very beginning.
It starts with the “last first day.”
Then it’s the cap and gown school photo.
Then it’s homecoming. Final games.
And somewhere along the way, you realize…
This is really happening.
For years, graduation felt like something off in the distance - something to plan for, prepare for, maybe even look forward to.
But now that it’s here?
It feels different.
It feels exciting.
It feels proud.
And…it also feels a little heavy.
Because along with all the celebration, there’s a quiet awareness:
Something is ending.
One of the biggest mistakes we make in this season is thinking we have to choose.
“I should just be happy.”
“This is what I’ve been raising them for.”
“Why am I emotional when this is such a good thing?”
But here’s the truth:
You don’t have to pick one feeling.
You can feel incredibly proud of the human you’ve raised…and feel the ache of knowing this chapter is closing.
That doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It means you were all in.
A Lesson I Learned (The Hard Way, Then a Better Way)
When my oldest, Peyton, was a senior, I was so aware of every “last.”
The last first day of school.
Her last basketball game.
Her last prom.
And I remember thinking I was doing it right - soaking it all in, paying attention, being present.
But when I looked back, I realized something surprising:
I had been so focused on the fact that everything was ending.
That I missed some of the joy of what was actually happening.
I was there - but part of me was always a step ahead, already feeling the loss.
The Shift That Changed Everything
A couple of years later, when my son Jack graduated, I did it differently.
The emotions were still there - the pride, the excitement, the lump-in-your-throat moments.
But this time, instead of trying to manage the feelings or get ahead of them…
I let them exist together.
As a life coach, I refer to this as “holding hands” with both emotions.
The sentimental, this-is-ending feeling…
And the I’m-so-happy-for-you, I’m so proud of you feeling.
At the same time.
And that small shift changed everything.
I didn’t miss the moments - I felt them.
When It Feels Bigger Than Just “Bittersweet”
There was another moment along the way that gave me even more perspective.
One of my kids chose a college across the country.
And if I’m being honest, that hit me in a completely different way.
This wasn’t just “senior year ending.”
This felt like real distance. Real change. A much bigger shift in our day-to-day life. I’d have to get on a plane to see him. Even the time change to keep in mind for phone calls felt overwhelming.
And I remember feeling genuinely sad about it.
But at the same time…I was even happier for him.
He was so excited. Ready. And stepping into something that was so right for him.
And that helped me reframe everything:
I could be sad for me…and still be happier for him.
Both feelings were true.
And when I let that be enough - when I stopped trying to make one feeling win - it brought a sense of peace I didn’t expect.
What I See Now (With a Little More Perspective)
Now, I’m in my fifth (and final) senior year.
And having gone through this with my older kids - three fully out in the world, one in college, and now one graduating - I see the bigger picture so much more clearly.
Yes, things are changing.
Yes, this chapter is ending.
But I also see what comes next.
The relationships evolve.
The connection doesn’t disappear, it deepens in a different way.
There’s pride, excitement, freedom…for them and for you.
And when you allow all of that into the picture,
Not just the ending, but the full story,
This season feels less heavy… and more meaningful.
How to Actually Enjoy This Season
If you want to really enjoy this time - not just get through it - here’s what I’d offer:
Stop trying to do it “right.”
There’s no perfect way to experience senior year. You’re not going to capture every moment, and you don’t need to.Let yourself feel the bittersweet part.
Pushing it away doesn’t make you more present - it usually does the opposite.Stay where your feet are.
When you catch yourself jumping ahead (“This is the last time…”), gently bring yourself back to: “This is happening right now.” Prom is prom. Dinner before prom is dinner before prom. A random Tuesday night is a random Tuesday night. Let each one be what it is without adding too much sentiment to everything.
One Thought to Carry With You
When you feel that wave of emotion coming (and it will), try this:
“This is what it feels like when something really mattered.”
Because that’s what this is.
All the years.
All the routines.
All the ordinary days that didn’t feel big at the time…
They led here.
And What Comes Next…
This isn’t just an ending.
It’s a transition - for them and for you.
And while parts of this season are hard, there’s also something really beautiful about watching your child step into what’s next… while you begin to rediscover what’s next for you, too.
But for now?
Stay here.
Let it be joyful.
Let it be a little messy.
Let it be bittersweet.
Because that’s what makes it so meaningful.